Hello beautiful souls!
I hope you are having a wonderful day and week!
Today, we are covering the topic of assumptions in a relationship.
How many of you have made assumptions in a relationship...I don't just mean intimate relationships, but in all types of relationships?
What has happened when you made assumptions in your relationship?
I have done this with my husband and with my children.
I assume that they did certain things, or said certain things and assumed they meant one thing or another.
My thoughts were that because I know them well enough that they must mean what I think they mean.
Yes this has backfired on me many times and because assumptions come from ego, from our limiting beliefs and what we have learned from the past.
However it is important for us to understand that just like each of us, your partner, friends, family members and your children grow and change.
They may not always voice or even know that their thinking and their mindsets have changed about certain things, but they may be growing in their thinking/thoughts and mindsets and we don't know it....
Yes, you may believe that you know your loved ones or your friends, especially if they are ones who are great expressing themselves, but we cannot always be sure how it is that they are growing unless they tell us and for many it can be hard to explain that growth unless you specifically ask.
So it is important for us to ask and communicate.
It is important for us to ask what they are feeling, and thinking about certain topics.
It may not always be the easiest to do that, especially if you have grown up in a family where you were not taught how to express yourself in a certain way, but it can help you relationship in big ways.
Assuming someone is thinking a certain way or doing something can get you down a rabbithole of negativity because that is what ego does, taking what we learned from the outside of us, those limiting beliefs and having us spiral down to thinking the worst.
If you are an overthinker, this may happen to you a lot...you assume something and your thoughts keep taking you deeper and deeper to what is not real.
If you have been down this road, and I have many times, there are many ways to stop this way of thinking and going down this path.
Journaling is a great way to get rid of those thoughts that are not true, but are your assumptions. Writing down your assumptions and then also writing down why it is that you thought this about what it is your loved one said or did.
Next, I encourage my clients to meditate after they do the journaling...once they have cleared their mind of these assumptions and to sit and listen...or walk and listen...starting by taking deep breaths...counting down from 10...for some listening to some music while in meditation will help you to clear the mind and also to be able to listen to your higher self and the Divine.
Movement then helps you to focus on something else...do you have next steps coming in that you need to take care of?
Then, when you are able to to go to talk with your loved one and asking them about that situation...what it is that they were doing or what they said and asking why.
Do you remember when you were younger, asking all the why questions? Or do you remember your children asking those questions?
By asking Why and not going by what you assumed, we open up the door to what actually is instead of what may never have been and this in turn helps us to see things in a new and better light. It helps you to know what is actually real and to also be in the moment with your loved ones.
Now for those who have done a lot of assuming in the past, it is not easy to let go of, because at first even if you are told what is actually true, you may have doubts.
It is important for us to trust and have faith in our loved ones. It is important for us to believe in what they are saying unless they show us or tell us otherwise.
One of the things about love is that we give our loved ones and also those we don't know, the benefit of the doubt.
I mean, how many times has it been easier for us to give strangers the benefit of the doubt because we do not know them?
So isn't it especially important for us to give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt because they are closest to us and we love them?
Our loved ones, well they love us...sometimes especially when it comes to family it may not seem that way, but they do even with everything they have seen you go through or you have seen others in your family or friends go through.
Through all of this, it is important that we give them grace, and trust that even through the mistakes they may have made that each time is going to be different. Just as we would expect them to give us the grace that we may need when we make mistakes.
So each time it is important for us to set aside our assumptions and trust in what it is that they are saying. Trust that what they are telling us about what they did or said meant it the way they mean it and not how we assume it is.
When we do this, when we ask and communicate effectively what it is that is being said and done and why, and trusting in our loved ones, we can avoid a lot of miscommunication and hurt and live in healthy relationships that will last a long time as well as help everyone in that relationship to grow.
Sending you lots of love and light 💖💖💖