Hello beautiful souls!
So today I am sharing with you my spiritual journey so far.
This post is not only to get to know me and why I do what I do, but to help you to share your journey as well with others.
So for those who are new to me, my name is Catharine and I have been intuitive and speaking with spirit (which later turned out to be the Archangels), my whole life.
Since I was little, I would pick up the phone before it would ring, or call someone for no particular reason only to find out that they needed someone to talk to and I also spoke with what I thought was myself, to get advice, be told to do certain things and receive encouragement.
I did not think anything of it because I thought everyone was like that. I thought everyone spoke with themselves internally and just knew certain things would happen. Just thought it was part of life.
As a child, I went to church, started out with my parents taking me, but as I got older, I started going on my own...it helped that our church was just down the street so I could walk by myself. I went to retreats, revivals, summer camps/school and volunteered whenever I could. I helped others become born again and led worship to help others.
In 1994, my family decided to move to Wisconsin because of my parent's business and my old life was gone. I was in high school and had to start over. Making new friends and this is also where I met my now husband, at a church we decided to belong to.
Having to have uprooted my life was of course not easy. If you have moved when you were a little older you probably know this. I also had moved in the middle of my freshman year so having to make new friends was not easy...it was really tough actually.
Thankfully, the orchestra teacher, after auditioning without knowing the last string, still let me join because he saw potential in me and orchestra became my safe place along with being a part of the church.
I started becoming very involved with church, being a part of the worship team, going to summer camps/VBS, being a camp counsellor and teaching Sunday School. In orchestra I was able to move up quickly and kept busy with solo ensembles, pit orchestra and going on trips with them.
Eventually I graduated, started dating my now husband, went off to college for a year, only to come back to find my own place, get a job and finish college back in Wisconsin.
In 2004, my husband I got married and soon after we started our businesses. We eventually decided to start a family and this is where a lot of things started shifting for us.
It didn't take long for us to become pregnant with our first, but later in our pregnancy but at almost 20 weeks, we had lost our baby boy.
I did not even think this would ever be a possibility for us especially at that late of a pregnancy...I had never heard of anyone who lost a pregnancy after the first trimester. No one had talked about it and with me being the first of my peers at my church to get pregnant, no one had mentioned this.
This loss was the most difficult for me. Not only because many of my peers from church were also pregnant at the same time and I was the first who was pregnant, but I had to go through the birthing process and have our baby who I knew was not going to be alive.
If you are reading this and have gone through losing a pregnancy no matter at what stage, but especially if you had to birth your child knowing he/she would not be alive, know that I understand because I have been there not only once but twice.
When you go through a loss, no one can tell you how bad it hurts...and for me having to had delivered our baby and then leave the hospital without a baby was the hardest.
I remember being in the wheel chair, seeing other mothers leaving with their newborns and I was just in that chair being wheeled to our car to go home.
There are many other things I remember about the delivery process that I will never forget but I will spare you the details of that.
The next few months were a blur because I spent it laying in bed at home.
I didn't go anywhere, do anything and only ate when my husband brought home food after work.
I blamed God and didn't want to see anyone. My husband cried with me and held me and that is all I needed at that time. I was like that for a few months...until the holidays came and then I finally had the courage to get out of the house.
Soon after we had become pregnant again but I had a second loss, but this time it was early, but a month later, we got pregnant again...
For those who have become pregnant again after a loss know how scary and worried you can be...you worry about every little thing and your mind is always constantly swirling with worry.
That was how I was...every day, I would be thinking about the baby...and even when I was told by my doctor that if I needed anything or worried about anything to give him a call, I was still worried and also didn't want to keep calling the doctor because I would be calling him a million times a day!
We eventually reached our milestone...the week that we had lost our son, but soon after...a couple weeks after at 20 weeks, after trying all we could to save her, our daughter was born still.
Now going back a little bit, after I finally got the courage to leave the house after losing our son, I did go back to church for a bit and because my in-laws are very involved in the church everyone found out about my loss. It was then that all of these older adults would come up to me to tell me about their losses...I had no idea there were so many who had gone through what I did. However I soon after decided not to attend that church anymore because of some comments that I had received from those who have never experienced that kind of loss.
Now in hindsight I know they were trying to be nice and say something that may be encouraging or it was their way of sending condolences, but at that time it was very hurtful and to me seemed very unchristianlike. It was not only one comment but several that made me think...how can you say something like that and call yourself a Christian?
This is as well as my losses, was the beginning of a very big awakening!
After my losses, I was on a downward sprial of unhappiness.
I was still working on my business and planning weddings and executing them during this time, but even with all of the happiness around me in planning weddings, I was not happy. I felt like I was drowning and I was still hurting so badly
I tried covering that up with work and eventually with a new pregnancy which also came with so much worry like before, but this time around it felt a little bit different.
For this pregnancy at 8 weeks I started spotting so we thought I lost another pregnancy, but thankfully my doctor wanted to double check and after what seemed to be like years when it was only a couple of days our doctor confirmed to us that our baby was still alive!
We reached all of our milestones with the help of stitches and bedrest (which drove me crazy not being able to go anywhere for that long but thank goodness for the internet) and finally we had our rainbow baby! And the funny part is, after my stitches were taken out, this guy didn't want to come out! He came on the week of Easter!
Now you would think that after finally having our child come home with us would make us extremely happy and yes it did, and that joy lasted for a while, but after some time I still felt a lot of heaviness, a lot of sadness. It had never left me completely, but was covered up temporarily.
Shortly after having our rainbow and after a few medical complications, we had our twins...and they came at 26 weeks even with stitches and bedrest and then came our 3 month NICU journey.
Now, on top of not having fully recovered from my losses, to having to endure a 3 month NICU journey which was also very difficult, I was on an even more of a downward spiral.
Yes I was happy to have the twins alive and also having a toddler at home, but mentally it was too much for me, but the focus on trying to get my twins home were driving me.
There were so many ups and downs...many times having almost lost them...but the Divine were with me all along for the ride and guiding me through and giving me the strength to keep going.
Once they came home, we still had so many challenges, but looking back I know those challenges not only helped me to be a stronger person, but it was also a way to keep me focused on something other then the feelings that I was going to have to deal with.
It was not until the 6 month mark when I had my doctor's appt, when I finally broke down.
I broke down right in the doctor's office! All he asked me was how I was doing because he had been also checking up on my twins to see how they were as well.
All he had to say was..."How are you doing?"
I know nurses have asked me that in the NICU especially the first day when I looked pale especially having just had them and going to the NICU while I was still recovering but I didn't think much of it, but after having gone through everything and with everything finally settling in, when my doctor asked...everything came out!
I couldn't say much but the tears just kept flowing...my doctor knew me well enough at this point to be there for me, to tell me that if I needed to talk to give him a call and handed me a card with a name of a therapist to contact.
That was the start of my journey to happiness, to becoming me again!
After a few weeks I called my doctor again because I wanted to try something to help because I didn't know what to do, so he prescribed me pills...I tried them but I ended up being allergic to them which my doctor said was very strange because he hadn't heard of anyone having allergic reactions to those, but it was a sign...a sign that I needed to look elsewhere...so I never took them again and all my symptoms went away!
Then I was searching...searching for ways to be happy without medication!
Eventually I found the law of attraction and did some research on that and then found myself learning about Reiki, chakras and energy!
This is what clicked for me! Along with learning about other divination tools...oracle and tarot cards, psychics and all the clairs...all of this started flooding in and it was making sense!
I started studying Reiki and how the energy works and as I was practicing it, that is when those voices from childhood started appearing to me in a form I could see and they started showing me who they were and how I am to work with them...the Archangels!
All of this was making me happy...all of this occuring was starting to help me to see what it is that I am meant to do!
The more I learned, the more I wanted to practice and the more I practiced the more started appearing in my life.
This is also around the time that I received an email to be on radio!
It was interesting because I was just starting to build my Reiki business and had just started building my website and hadn't even finished when I received an email to see if I would be interested in being on radio.
At first yes I thought it was some sort of spam, but I was felt to contact her so I did...she emailed back and we chatted for a while. I soon after had my own radio show!
Then after a little bit of time I was led to another show that happened to fall in my lap and have been with them for a few years now and although on hiatus now will be back soon 😘
Since then, like everyone else, have gone through a lot of changes and growth!
Growing as a mother as my kids continue to grow...it is so true when they say you grow with your children and I have certainly been doing that.
Growing as a wife...learning how to be there for my husband while being myself.
Growing as a business person...which takes growing personally to be able to stand in your power and understand how much you can do.
Growing as a teacher/mentor/friend/healer...this takes learning and growing personally as well...understanding what you have experiences and how you learned to be able to help others to grow and change as well.
Right now, I no longer am an event planner as a business although I will always be an event planner at heart and can help others become event planners, but this year I am helping others as a notary, being there for our community, serving in this capacity because I am being called to be while I continue to build my spiritual business.
When it comes to my radio show, I will be going back to it, but took a hiatus because I need to do a little bit more of growing so that I can continue to teach in the way I am meant to. I will be sharing more about this as we go along but I am about ready to be back on the radio to continue to be there for you.
In writing about my journey, I hope it helps you to write/share about your journey and everything you have been through because you write and share, you start to learn about all that you are capable of doing and help you to see that you can do so much more.
Let your journey inspire you to do what you are called to do by seeing your experiences. Everything happens for a reason in our lives and those experiences help you and others to do more to help you and others to live a life that is happy and joyful!
After my dark period, when I started discovering Reiki and everything was starting to make sense, I was able to look back on my childhood and how I was able to do all of those things and also being able to see when the Archangels showed me it was them with me all along that this is what I was meant to do...to help others to see just how amazing they are...how they are meant to help others through their own lives and that they can do it!
What does your journey show you? What is your journey so far telling you about what you are meant to do? It is there, but sometimes it takes sharing your story to see what that is.
If you need help seeing this, please reach out to me because I will show you!
Sending you all lots of love and light 💖💖💖